Each day we wake wondering what the day will bring and each day we are gifted with an experience of life. Even the most mundane life is full of new things, and even the most prepared individuals can’t avoid the maelstrom of chaos that each day brings. I envision early humans attempting to predict the coming dangers to ensure survival of their genetic line. With every accidental death, victim of deadly disease, or any of the other daily dangers human animals face, humans deal with mortality. The human condition means, at some point, we are all going to die, but it is our greatest good fortune to overcome these dangers to live a long life.
The American society has an ordered way we age, and in many ways it takes the ability for us to choose what is next. Young children are educated and cared for (hopefully!) and are guided to an education system that graduates them for step to step reinforcing that progression of life. Each graduation, concert, test, sporting event, is treated as important benchmarks for aging. We are forced into a structure that leaves teenagers with the awesome responsibility to choose what they will be doing to earn money for the rest of their lives! How do children know what’s next and how are they equipped with the knowledge and experience to be able make that massive choice?
At the age of 10, I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger for the first time. I loved comic books and the Incredible Hulk was my favorite character. There he was, a real life superhero. Arnold was a massive beast with muscles everywhere and I wanted to be that. I had no guidance but I knew I wanted to Hulk out my body so I started doing exercises to build my muscles - nothing really worked. In 8th grade, the Middle School allowed students to use the weight room in their free time. Every free moment, I was there, lifting and trying to bulk up. I figured that being muscular would keep me from being bullied at school. I could never predict what would happen next.
It started as teasing and a bit of physical abuse. Tyler Myroe, a friend from the past, had bulked up and was the king of the weight room. He kept targeting me for his rage and unhappiness, and I was a victim of intense beatings. My parents believed it was my fault and the folks at school thought I was looking for attention. The bruises from the beatings never seemed to convince the adults I was in trouble. The 7-inch folding knife given to me by a friend was the only thing that stopped him. The confrontation was massive, but I held my ground and was ready to swing that blade and Tyler knew it. His next choice could have altered my whole life: would I need to stab someone?
The next day, Tyler wasn’t in school and he didn’t return to school again. His father, older brother, and he were robbing homes in King’s Point and were caught. I read about it in the Great Neck local paper. He never returned and, in a moment, the weight room became fun again. I lost interest in lifting weights, but I never stopped wanting to look like a superhero. I tried other ways but never really reached physical fitness. My focus switched to tennis and I spent the next 30 years injuring myself reaching for the goal of superhuman athlete, a goal I never attained. It was only then when I understood first, next, then last and what it meant in a human’s life.
The power of next is both aspirational and predictive. Preparing for tomorrow is wisdom, to live for a day that never comes is a prison of the mind. Life is a series of next, firsts, and lasts. Most of the time, we are completely unaware of which one it is? The Tao Te Ching instead discusses “The Way” you are compared to what you do. Your Way is your personal journey through time, and each action is both unique and something that has been done countless times, it is the “Way” you choose and that which is beyond choice. The idea of Next loses its meaning when you realize that the universe is both part of you and invisible to you. To believe that at the beginning of all things, you and I were destined to be here now and that each of us are both essential and meaningless to entirety of existence is “The Way.” Therefore, each next is the universe’s greatest gift, and even the evil that people do, is an integral part of the Cosmos. Each next reminds you that you are alive and that, even after human life is over, you will still be part of the Universe. Next?
