This morning I watched Roger Federer win a tie break in the 5th set at the Austrian Open. His opponent was Australian John Millman. The tennis was at the highest level and was exciting. What a moment! Histories greatest player competing for each and ever point. In the end, Roger had to come back to win the tie breaker by coming back from an 8-4 deficit. There he was, the “GOAT” and still playing amazing tennis. For me, I took a second to let the match impact on me. I was there, watching live, that moment is now my moment and a part of the mosaic of my memories. Did the people watching Babe Ruth get to see him perform at such a high level, I wonder?
There it was, two moons! I tell you for a long second, I thought there were two moons in the sky. It turned out to be a reflection of the moon off the bay in South Hampton. I was sitting at the Windmill on the campus of Southampton College, I was my first great love and my closest friends. We all had taken the cleanest strongest Acid I ever experience. The power was immediate and the effect was long lasting. My brain was opened and stimulated and it was life changing. But that moment at midnight looking out on the bay changed me. Walking to my dorm after, I knew somehow I was different. A part of my youthful innocence was gone, replaced by an older person, many of my personal illusions dropped away, leaving a new me.
“I never wanted you as a son, I would much preferred David!” He had said it. My father finally told me the truth about how he felt about me, he wanted my sister’s boyfriend to be his son. I was an embarrassment. Rage erupted from me that day, it was the first time I ever let it come out. With tears in my eyes I hit the garage’s 2’ by 8’ wooden planks. Breaking one per punch, I smashed a dozen boards. When my father saw what I had done, his face changed, he showed he was a coward. My blood soaked hands could have easily beaten him to death, and he realized that I had luckily controlled myself and not hurt him. He never talked to me the same after that, there was always an element of fear. That moment changed my life and set me off into a opposite direction. I still haven’t been able to find my way back.
On a June evening, during a fierce thunderstorm, I drove my wife to the hospital to give birth. I’ve driven through snowstorms with no issues, torrential and driving rain, and never let it bother me. This night, the lines on the Long Island Expressway had been shifted during construction. I barely was able to follow the lines with my wife screaming in pain next to me. The 18-wheelers along side of me where more creative. I was cut off from both sides repeatedly, but with good fortune and my driving experience we arrived at the hospital. I was like a fighter after a tough bout, I was stunned and dazed. Luck for me, my wife’s doctor told me where to stand and what to do. Before I knew it, he was there, my little boy. Everything cleared at that moment and it was imprinted on my soul. It’s that moment that gives me patience to deal with a now 19 year old man. I became a man on that day, a nice moment, a piece of the incredible Gary memory mosaic.
My family was invited up to Nantucket by an old college friend. He had felt bad for us because our home was badly damaged by Superstorm Sandy. My wife, two sons, and I traveled up to New England to enjoy the hospitality of my friends beautiful home. The whole time I was in a daze, I was more interested in my family having a good time then my own needs. On the evening before we were to leave, I was sitting up talking to Mike. He told me a story about how he had almost died Sailboarding. During his ordeal, he floated in the ocean for hours, and at one point expected to die. It was then when his feet his sand. I realized at that point that I was still floating waiting for something, 2012 was a difficult year and I was drowning. It was that moment I knew I needed help.
Life’s moments can be happy, sad, interesting, or almost anything. The important part is to take those moments and make them yours, no matter the positive or negative effect of them. The fact is, all your memories are your personal treasure. We need dark to see light, and need sad to know happy. The tears, the laughs, the long moments are truly ours. Then take those memories and share them, it gives you another chance to be part of your life experience. It in the retelling that we see the distance we have traveled and the times we miss dearly. It reminds us not to waste the moments to come, be part of your life, it’s the only thing the universe gives you that is absolutely yours.
