Dream Warriors of my imagination

Slowly he staked his pray through the primordial forest.  Across stream and brush, nothing could stop me from catching my quarry. The dark forest created by my imagination was really King’s Point Park and the prey was a scared squirrel I was chasing.  For that moment, it was real, the danger, the magic, and the mysteries or this ancient wood.  More importantly, I was a great warrior facing unknown dangers.  The sad truth was that I was a kid who was picked on at school and home. 

I would keep my vivid fantasies to myself and I would fade into dream states during the day.  My parents said I didn’t pay attention.  My teachers thought I was bored and didn’t put enough effort into school work.  My sister just thought I was a freak.  Still with all the anger and fear mongering from older people, my dreams were always mine, and they were powerful!  Each night I fought courageously against unyielding forces and found a way to gain victory.  This somehow gave me strength to endure the daily humiliation and violence.  But with the endurance was fear, and it was ever present.

Then came the dream medallion.  In a children’s movie, there was an old Shaman teaching a young boy about his dreams and fantasies. He said if you dream all the time, it takes the power out of your dreams.  If you focus on having fewer dreams, and making the ones you have more important, you will give your dreams power and they will care for you.  He said the secret was a “Dream Medallion.” Focus on having this jewelry in your dreams, and allow it to be all powerful in the dream world.  Practice by fantasizing during the day of the magic of the Medallion and give it power.

The idea connected with me and I practiced.  For a long time, there was no change, in fact, my concentration got worse.  It was the night before a test in social studies, and I had studied a great deal but felt like I was going to fail anyway.  That night I had a dream and it was pure magic.  I was in Philadelphia and it was 1776.  I could smell the stink, I could feel the hot air on my skin.  I walked into the Constitutional Congress and observed.  They were drunk just like my cousin had told me and al of them were sweating profusely.

I woke with a profound knowledge of the signing of the Declaration of Independence and I received my first “A” ever in school.  The teacher even complimented me for the details in my essay.  IT WORKED!  My dreams had become powerful and I realized that I could use them effectively.  I used the technique when reading, I would take an imagination walk through the material to become familiar with the environment.  It turned out to be an excellent skill for reading and my skill improved exponentially.  I used my massive power of dream magic in my daily life, and things became sunnier. 

In college, the dreams became both sage and prognosticator.  I started dreaming that papers were due a full week earlier than they were really due.  To deal with this, I would write my papers early so I wouldn’t let the dreams freak me out.  The one class I failed to study for and the final that I totally forgot about when it was scheduled, was the reoccurring warning of my dream world.  In my senior year of college, I didn’t miss anything, a class, a project, homework, and tests.  Everything had come together to create a efficient formidable method of producing my highest level of work.

As I have aged, dreams have been good to me.  Many of the stories I write, I dream first, it’s amazing how my mind collects various inputs form my life and amalgamates them into a snazzy unpredictable fantasy.   My dreams also serve of a reminder that life is short.  To wake up with tears in my eyes from a sad dream, is a difficult way to start a day or to wake in the middle of the night.  I truly believe that our dreams serve us to guide us to the end we must all face.  They remind us what is finest in life and show us how things could be.  My dreams tell me that life is fleeting and to drink in every experience like its my last.

I Am Afraid

I can admit it, I’m afraid.  I watch my wife, my sons, guys I play tennis with, they act like they are not scared of about the current health crisis.  They talk about cancelled events, social distancing, and even impacts on each individuals daily life.  Each doing their best not to be fearful about what is coming.  Mostly people are shocked and emotionally overreacting, they buy toilet paper and chicken like the end of times are coming.  It seems that no one wants to talk about what is really going on.

The idea that this situation was created by a lazy world population and governments that have lost focus of people’s daily lives evades discussion and hate and fear take it’s place.  My life was disrupted after college and I have been trying to deal with a harsh world where my health and welfare were no concern to both family and the general population.  So I started looking at the world differently.  I watched in horror as the beautiful blue planet was ravaged by careless capitalists.  The pursuit of money became more important than kindness, the ecology, our food supply, personal freedoms, and more. 

As a science teacher in the 1990’s, I taught about the delicate food web and that all things are connected somehow.  I showed that what happened on the other side of the town, the country, and even the world has become more and more connected to our daily lives.  I knew a small number of individuals that shared my world view and they too adjusted their lives.  They traveled less, lived simply, gardened and grew veggies, and concerned themselves with the impact they had on the Earth. 

I changed, I adjusted, but more importantly, I became afraid!  Each cruise outbreak of disease, each record high temperature at the North Pole, and the time I got food poisoning, I became fearful of what was going on around me.  My parents didn’t care and eventually decided not to talk to me again.  For them, the years left were the only thing of importance.  The life of my children, or my future didn’t matter to them.  I was left alone, and everything promised to me was taken away.  This forced more changes in the way I acted and created a space around me, a distance that society kept away from me. 

Each crisis, I was glad my wife had a family that helped us or we would have been on the street.  We made the most of everything, finding the best and least expensive ways to do everything.  My work life was disrupted and I found it impossible to find work.  Simultaneously, my home was damaged by the flood that accompanied Super Storm Sandy.  The next three years were spent trying to get our flood insurance company to pay the claim.  We adjusted, and our lives shrunk again.  Each dollar got budgeted, and the lurking fear of foreclosure and financial ruin was ever present.  We were afraid, but we never gave up.

The arthritis in my hips became so painful that a hip replacement was the only answer.  I replaced the left hip, hoping the right one would hold up.  Unexpectedly, my attention to my diet, health, and fitness had an unexpected benefit, I walked out of the hospital less than 24 hours after surgery, and was playing tennis 6 weeks later.  The rehabilitation was incredibly hard and full of extreme pain.  I had moments of heart stopping fear that I would never again be fit or well enough to garden, play tennis, or do anything without pain.  Lucky that fear and I were old friends, so we worked together to work myself back to full health, and even superior in many ways. 

So I welcome the world to my fear. Now you know what I have been living with and you see what I have been talking about for decades.  The safe veneer of safety has been stripped and now you too are afraid.  Fear can’t kill you, it is a natural reach to danger.  America and the world is now in danger,  time to pull together and change things while we still can.  I bet for each of you to adjust to the new reality, we here in America are BROKE and even worse, we are a trillion dollars in debt.  WE CAN CHANGE!  I have written many blogs about things that individuals can do today to improve the ecology, the economy, and the community that you live in.  Use your fear, there is still time to do something!

Things I Won't Do As A Gamer!

I have been playing Dungeons and Dragons for a long time now and I won’t play another game system.  There is no way - I’m a fantasy purist and require my setting to be that of a Tolkien-like realm!  With that said, I’m playing Fantasy Flight’s Star Wars now and I’m loving it.  The idea of a science fiction campaign based on the Star Wars universe is really cool.  We are rebels fighting the Empire and I’m a spy.  No magic, no force powers, no armor, no light saber; just his wits, challenging and fun!

I believe that the D20 system is the best and the only system for the gaming purist.  D&D has changed over the years, but the Die 20 has reigned supreme.  No other dice system captures the feel of the game better than the dodecahedron - it is king!  Star Wars uses a variety of non-twenty-sided dice to create a unpredictable feel to the game and it works.  The system uses a dice upgrade system to modify high scores and does not rely on a single die throw.  The Game Master adds difficulty die/dice to your actions to make it harder to complete a given task.  This gives a GM an active say on every roll and creates an atmosphere where anything can happen.  Lastly, there are Force dice used to improve the possibilities available to players, but the dark side can be played by the GM. 

I love the feel of dice, they make gaming magical.  The look, the feel, the unpredictability, are all just perfect.  I have a large collection of every type of dice.  Most importantly, my favorite dice are a set of purple “crit” dice only available at Gen Con the year I attended.  Yes, without dice gaming loses a mystical quality and starts feeling like a video game.  We were without dice this week for Star Wars, a GM mistake that deprived the group of dice.  We downloaded a fantasy dice roller with a Star Wars dice setting and it was brilliant! The complex nature of the variety of dice makes reading dice tricky, but the dice roller was simple and easy.  This one little app made our game flow better than ever.  Are there others?

I love the idea of “things I won’t do as a gamer” because they are all things that improve my gaming experience.  I guess I need to learn to rephase “won’t” into something else like, “haven’t done for a long time and am scared to change.”  

I’m not giving up all my RPG habits. There are things that I need to enrich my gaming experience.

1.       Take Notes- I believe it a sign of respect to the DM/GM to keep notes to track the story and NPCs.  A big benefit is that, over time, you can revisit old adventures and get great ideas from them.

2.       Snacks- We are going to sit around for hours and we need snacks, but not all types are good.  A good gaming snack has no grease or fake coating, that crap gets on the sheet and stains it.  I prefer pretzel nuggets, but you have to remember to keep the snacks and dice separate. Accidents can happen in the heat of combat.

3.       Drawing - I always draw my characters, it’s something I’ve been doing for decades.  It helps me get into the mind of the character and allows me a chance to practice drawing.  I have hundreds of PC portraits, it’s an interesting collection.

4.       Drinks - Preferably caffeinated, but not a requirement.  Like snacks, we game for a long time, so have drinks that the group can share and take turns bringing drinks and snacks if it becomes an issue. 

5.       Pencils, pens, or something - I mean we are playing a paper and pencil game, have both available for your game, it just makes playing easier and quicker. 

6.       Dice or Dice App -  Unless you have made some arrangements, don’t show without dice.  With the many dice apps available, there is no conceivable reason to show up not ready to play.

7.       Your Sheet - You need me to explain this one? Good grief!