Me Too?

I have witnessed both men and women abusing others.  I am always shocked by the anger when I see women fighting each other.  The level of rage is startling!  If you add in the millions of times girls have been abused, it’s an uncomfortably large number.  I get the “Me Too” movement, I really do.  I've witnessed acts that I have stopped, I have seen bad judgment and, I have several women that I dated tell me they have been raped.  It makes me feel ashamed of all men and has forced me to rethink how I interact with women. 

That rethinking has lead me to a place I never thought I would be.  I evaluated my behavior and experiences with a critical eye.  I have been guilty of bad judgement, but I never broke that law.  In many of those bad judgement situations, it was a girl who lead me there and lead me there willingly!  Most of these moments of bad judgement was normally accompanied by lots of drinking or drug use.  One of the reasons I stopped drinking was the repeat occurrences of uncouth behavior.  Fortunately, none of my behavior did long term damage, break any laws, or get anyone hurt.  I felt this was important to say before I relate my “Me Too” incidents.

 My childhood to the age of 16 was filled with violence and I endured incredible amounts of pain.  Both my parents were violent people and it emboldened my older sister to be extremely aggressive towards me.  She crossed many lines that are both morally and legally wrong.  I just thought that’s how it was for everyone.  I was filled with rage and had no idea why, so I fought in school often.  Yelling at teachers and people in power, fighting with other kids, and basically acting out, I was completely out of control. 

In college, I didn’t fight as often, but when I did, people got hurt.  I had both rage and speed and, in most situations, I acted before the other person reacted.  It was never pretty, and I always needed someone else to stop the fight.  It was there that a wonderful friend made me stop and ask why I was so angry?  I didn’t think I was angry?  I thought I was normal, and my behavior didn’t vary much for most folk.  Man, was I wrong.  It took a bunch of mushrooms, acid, and other various hallucinogens to access the memories.  Some trips were fun, some were heavy and introspective. 

I have a learning disability, Dyslexia.  Throughout my life I have been told that the level that I worked at was lazy and that I just didn’t put enough effort into anything.  This bewildered me because I had no idea how to work harder.  Teachers yelled and embarrassed me, children made fun of me because I was slow, and my family belittled and berated me.  The sad thing is that I never gave up, but it took almost ten years before my academic level matched the accepted standard.  I took so much shit for working my hardest and if wasn’t for a competitive streak, I would have given up.  So I took abuse on a regular basis until I won and started doing better than everyone. 

I was beat up both mentally and physically and had no real perspective on kind behavior or love for almost two decades of life.  Academics wasn’t the only place I faced hash treatment.  I worked as a tennis instructor and the life was full of back stabbers and fake friends.  The number of people that could be trusted or counted on in my life could be counted on one hand.  I was ripped off, cheated, swindled and, during it all, these con artists had my number.  I was so busy trying to impress my dad, I was the perfect dupe, and they got me often.  The whole idea of showing up and working hard was a tool they used against you - they always wanted more and you were always lazy.  I endured that abuse for more than a decade in my lifetime.

I went into teaching because I thought it was a place of safety and comradery.  I was wrong, being a male elementary school teacher made me the most hated man in the building.  When I worked hard, I was showing off.  When I was upset with offers of help that never came, I was unrealistic.  When I raised my voice at the students, I was yelling and abusive. How? I acted like the rest of the teachers.  How was it that I, the lone male teacher, could be guilty of all these misdeeds as my students got the highest grades in the school?  Every success was showing off, and every mistake was a major incident.  Most of my fellow teachers were insensitive and harsh.  Dealing with them was demeaning and made me look for another way to make a living.

I don’t hit anyone in anger, but I have been tempted.  My “Me Too” stories mean nothing to those who parade their victimhood on a flag.  Harvey Weinstein was a known thing, my mother told me stories about the casting couch from the 40’s!  I was told that there were many ways to get into show business and many people accepted the cost.  I understand the feeling of being powerless, but I’m now afraid to be alone with a woman and have a disagreement.  Having power is great, but knowing when to use it is just as important.  Maybe we can find an “Us Too” place for all folks?

My Brain on Weed

Try to explain to a non-smoker what it’s like to have the benevolent herb coursing through your system.  In a strange way, cannabis removes headwind and allows the person to be released.  The idea of being “High” seems like a poor explanation of how it feels.  There is the fact that different stains and methods of consuming greatly affect how you “Feel” from ganja.  The heady Sativa or the body high Indica generalization basically holds true.  Unfortunately, the massive variety of strains and the common practice of mixing both types to create unique hybrids has made any generalization impossible.

With me, I get a certain effect from most strains.  First of all, I feel like I’m in rhythm and in the groove.  My gate is smooth, smooth as it can be after 3 hours of tennis, but in the zone.  That zone has improved with age and I find it helps me focus when I play tennis.  Secondly, I feel music.  It just permeates everything I do, it turns a normal day into a music video.  I find myself singing these songs that play in my head, and it’s freaking brilliant!  The feeling is so pleasant and refreshing, it lifts my soul and lifts up those around me. 

The chemical effect of cannabis allows me to endure a greater level of pain without the negative emotional side effects.   The pain doesn’t seem to bother me.  More importantly, I spend more time stretching before and after play.  I find the ganja helps me do yoga, allowing a greater range of motion and a greater focus on the internal parts of the practice.  THC is a potent compound and, when used correctly, can be beneficial to older athletes and can be a part of a health routine.  This is where eating THC has helped many after workouts.  The higher concentration can allow peaceful sleep and gives your body time to heal.

The culture that comes with smoking pot can be really cool.  When a group of cannabis enthusiasts find each other, it’s like a family  or high school reunion.  There is an energy in the air and smokers love to “Come Out” to other smokers.  We all breathe a great breath of relief knowing we weren’t going to be judged by our love of pot.  In fact, it makes us all family!  And just like family, there is always a “Bogart” in the group.  Yes, the ugly step-child of cannabis.  And don’t get me started on lighters! When it all comes down to it, we deal with our brother/sister glommers!  All things considered, it’s still cool to hang out and smoke a joint with a new friend. 

The current science shows that THC kills cancer cells.  It is widely accepted that this treatment shows incredible promise and clinical trials have supported that.  The field of research is yielding incredible results, but the results point to the THC surrounding the cancer cells.  These cells die by committing suicide, and they die without negative side effects to the healthy cells around them.   I hope this science proves to be true, and individuals that have had THC tinctures as part of their effect treatment.

When cannabis is grown without harsh chemicals and expensive energy consumption, it becomes a benefit to the environment and is considered a miracle plant for its helpful effects.  Cannabis is able to remove radiation from soil and help it become fertile again.  This is being used in both Chernobyl and Fukushima Daiichi.  The plant can be used to create textiles, plastic, food, hempcrete, and hundreds more.  Cannabis is a true gift from nature and should be honored as such.

There you go, that’s my brain on weed! A little bit body, a little bit head, and a shit load of rock and roll!

Jokes from your Jewish Friend!

Manure

Schwartz, an elderly man, is resting peacefully on the porch of his small hotel outside Boca when he sees a cloud of dust up the road. He walks out to see who could be approaching: It is a Southern farmer with a wagon.
“Good afternoon,” says Schwartz.
“Afternoon,” says the farmer.
“Where you headed?” asks Schwartz.
“Town.”
“What do you have in the wagon?”
“Manure.”
“Manure, eh? What do you do with it?”
“I spread it over the fruit.”
“Well,” says Bernstein, “you should come over here for lunch someday. We use sour cream.”

Cheating

Feinstein returned home from a business trip to discover that his wife had cheated on him
“Who was it?” he roared. “That bastard Wolf?”
“No,” replied his wife. “It wasn’t Wolf.”
“Was it Green, that creep?”
“No, it wasn’t him.”
“I know — it must have been that idiot Sherman.”
“No, it wasn’t Sherman, either.”
Feinstein was furious. “Whatsa matter?” he cried. “None of my friends is good enough for you?”

The Million-Dollar Question for God

A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, “God, what is a million years to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.”
The man asks, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”
God replies, “My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me.”
The man asks, “So God, can I have a million dollars?”
And God replies, “In a second.”