Without thinking too much about it, I went to the wall at a close by park and started hitting.  It occurred to me, that I never played tennis for my pleasure.  Tennis was always a way to get my father’s attention, or to be recognized for being a great athlete, or to get lessons.  I had never played just for the joy of playing; I had always played to win something.  There I was, in the park, glad to have the sun shining on my face, and I was out of the house.  I wanted to get in shape to be able to play tennis and have playing be easier.

Yoga was essential for me to get to know my body again.  After practicing for a year, my 50-year-old body was transformed.  My fitness level and flexibility was amazing and I was moving better than when I was young.  I met a nice group of players at the park, and we all started playing regularly.  It took time, but I was able to play for three or more hours.  I played every chance I got, and I loved being on the court.  Unfortunately, my body hated the pounding and my left hip needed replacing.  The surgery was really hard as was the recovery.  Thankfully, a month and a half after surgery I was back on the court, hitting without running too much.  I limped, strained, and suffered for over a year and a half.  Most of the guys stopped playing with me, but I kept at it.  A talented physical therapist was able to help me at a point when I thought my body would never come back.  Christian, my physical therapist, taught me how to “do” things correctly and my body quickly transformed, allowing my left leg to become strong and agile again.  I refocused on tennis and getting back to playing well. 

My lifetime of experience and my newly found fitness allowed me to return to playing with the old group and I found myself beating everyone easily.  However, after a bad reaction to a blatant cheating call in a doubles game, the group began to break up.  I was extremely upset and wanted to quit tennis again, but instead I forgot to fail and kept playing.  Instead, I focused on improving my game, and my strokes were just the starting point.  I improved my tennis social skills, finding many new people to play with.  I stopped playing sets and started just hitting with people, no winning or losing. 

I stand here today, the best I have ever been at tennis.  Diet, sleep, stretching, and every other element of being fit I do with daily joy.  The idea of being great never lies with a desire to be the best, it seems to depend on your preparation and determination to be your best without effort or stress.  I call it “zen tennis,” a state of pure being without awareness of the outside world and at the same time being part of everything.  I never played better, and it never mattered less to me.  It occurred to me that most people fail because they are aware of failure. I succeeded because I just forgot to fail and just became what I needed to be.