I’m somebody that hasn’t had big wins in life.  In business, I have had short, and even medium term careers, but nothing turned into a big win.  In the end, situation has forced me to leave both of those fields, and not by my own choice.  Why did I fail?  If I tell you I performed both jobs to the best of my ability, I was always prepared, never late, I only took a sick day in the worst of sickness, and I loved my jobs then your first reaction should be that you found the perfect jobs.  Unfortunately, we must work with others, and the quality of our work and satisfying the customer, are not the only factors in work success.

I’ll get back to my work story, but I wanted to tell you about my tennis experience and a philosophy that has recently gained merit in my thinking.  I play at a local park with a bunch of guys, all younger and faster than me.  I had a hip replacement, and the idea of a dead sprint is still an impossibility, but I can move fairly well and I’m in good condition.  When we play singles, I rarely win points on my best shots.  I’ll repeat that, I rarely win points by hitting winners.  My best shots somehow come back even harder which is just unthinkable!

I find myself winning games, sets by hitting up the middle and being very steady.  Then I’ll slice the ball low and it makes it harder for them to hit with power - I can see it frustrates them.  So there it is, the philosophy of winning.  The idea of doing what it takes to win and having no problem with it.  For me, I like hitting out with the guys and generating some power and spin.  I slice it when I need the point.  I have found a happy place where I can play very competitive games where everyone has fun. I can feel like I know what I need to do to win in the end of both games and sets.  I’m sure I could play to beat others with no mercy, but the idea of winning that way is unthinkable to me. 

Then why couldn’t I find success at work?  The hard fact is that I didn’t get along with my colleagues and employers.  I wanted to do my job well.  I wanted to follow the rules, and meet all directives of my managers.  To me, I found it very hard to maintain a job.  My bosses didn’t appreciate my effort, instead they used it against me.  It seemed the better I did my job, the more that was expected of me.  Employees that did try, were constantly being helped and supported and it seemed there was two sets of rules.  What I failed to comprehend was that you are useful until you are not, period.  The second I failed to follow the rules, any rules, I was gone!  In a way, I lost the point using my best shots.

I’m getting old now, and the idea of being a success is starting to look less and less likely.  With tennis, I found a way to compete and win.  In business, I haven’t.  I absolutely believe there is a psychology of winning, an individual must be available to take advantage if the situation shows.  There are astute investors and entrepreneurs out there that are both agile and well financed.  These individuals and firms are positioned to take advantage of any opportunity that they can find.  For most of us normal individuals, the idea of making a split decision that impacts the direction of our lives is not an everyday thing.  This is where my thinking has changed.

I don’t win because I control winning.  If I win it’s because I made less errors than my opponent and hit the appropriate shot at the optimum time.  I can’t control the weather, a sudden gust that blows a ball out on game point.  I don’t control let calls, some days they all fall on your side.  One day I hit ace serves, the next hit I don’t.  The important idea is to be present to all opportunities and to act when they present themselves.  Understand that there are days that no opening will be found, and even with your best shots, you will lose.

I do my best to make the most of each day, understanding I will have bad days.  I make sure I interact with my family every day, and I remember that no matter what is said, they are the ones you love and any interaction is a gift.  I think about what business success would bring to me and I would enjoy the financial rewards it would bring, but no amount of money lets you live one second more.  Time is the most precious gift of all, something no money or job can give you. 

A most unlikely thing, to find happiness and success without being successful?  A lifetime of hitting my best shots and losing, and suddenly, I’m winning by not hitting winners.  Take away the money as an objective and see what that money gets you. If you have it, do you think that money is going to do to make you happy?  Win based on what you have, not on a way you want to win.  Life is here, react to it, don’t dictate to it what it should be. Instead, be one with the way things are.  Allow both happiness and sadness to be a reality and exist, for if that’s not the ultimate in winning, what is?