I’m lost. I grew up in a place that was like Sesame Street and now I live on “Hate Street”.  I have a lifetime of experiences, some are positive, some are negative.  Somehow, I always kept of level of understanding and kindness, sometimes better than others, but I endeavored to be a moral person.  America was a lot like me, as a nation we followed its better values, but it failed too.  Immoral wars and business practices have always been an evil specter that repeatedly popped up to challenge what we believe in as a nation.  Worst of all is the national shame of being an ugly and bigoted place.  An original issue that we as a country have yet to come to terms with.

For me, I have always been lost in America.  I had developmental issues as a child, and it took me extra time and effort to struggle back to being functional in the school environment.  Kids labeled as “slow” were teased in my school, and I was the target of a large group of kids I went to Kindergarten with.  I was regularly bullied and found that the idea of going to school was horrific.  By the 6th grade, my size helped me deal with the bullies, but it took several years of fighting anytime and anywhere before the same bullies became to fear me.  Somehow being feared is like being bullied, you still have no friends.  I always seemed lost in school.

My parents and my sister were abusive people and I was their favorite target.  I was hit, abused, demeaned, and kept outside of all family activities.  I overcame this by getting better at the sports that they loved.  I became the best skier and tennis player in the family.  This didn’t make them include me, it only made them use me if they needed a favor, and I was never a part of any group activity.  The abuse never stopped either.  I made a choice to fight back and then everyone feared me, and I was kept far away!  I lost my family bit by bit, until there was no relative that had any contact with me.  My father never met his grandson, David, as he preferred to hate me.  No amount of apologizing or effort would change my family’s attitudes towards me, I am lost to my family and they are lost to me.

I have been accused of not being Jewish enough for fellow Jews.  I’m not liberal enough for most liberals and certainly not conservative enough for most conservatives.  I’m not the environmental warrior compared to other advocates, and I’m not greedy enough to impress most NY businesspeople.  My tennis game and knowledge are out of place at the park, but not good enough for most indoor leagues.  Men my age look different from me as well.  I’m trim and have considered good health a vital thing, especially since I turned 50.  The men I meet that are in my age range are, for lack of a better word, icky!  I find them self-centered and only focus on what they can get out of you.  I focus on my wife and my boys and I always come second to their needs. 

I curse too much for some folk and for others I speak too “white/educated” as if that is an insult.  My word is my bond and their words are a series of lies to trick you out of what you would have fairly bartered.  I start with respect and kindness, and I do my best to remain that way until the point I can’t.  Most folk start hostile and have to be talked down before they listen to reason.  I have learned to admit failure so I can move on.  In today’s world, the hype is more important than the outcome.  Individuals seem to lack the ability to self-reflect and adjust.  Now our society is filled with egomaniacal morons.  This is not what they taught me on Sesame Street!

America the Beautiful… a song about the natural beauty of America.  Most American’s sing patriotic songs filled with pride and belonging.  I cry like the Native American in the old commercial - Americans are filthy, and their garbage is killing America the Beautiful.  Rachel Carson’s book “Silent Spring” told us that the Earth is an interconnected system, every part is affected by the rest.  Ocean garbage, toxic plumes, micro plastics in our drinking water, animal waste polluting water ways and rivers, we are literally killing ourselves.  Why when we have everything we need to solve this? Americans consume beyond their need and lack the discipline to go on a diet, individually and nationally.  There are some really easy fixes if we as a nation would stand up:

• Fix and invest in recycling technology

• Reinvest in national infrastructure, modernize, and simplify America.

•  AmeriCorps is one of the best programs created, every citizen should be required to do some level of national service.

• Education is for all is an intelligent economic plan, worthy of investment.

• End the Mega corporation, 20th century business practices have devastated the planet, it needs to stop.

• Impower the individual through technology and local farming.

• Clean our water, NOW!  The EPA needs to reclassify industrial waste as an environment hazard.

• Get rid of all political parties, it only leads to corruption.

• End the Federal Government. Too big to fail should apply to nations too!

• Create the American Federation of States, emancipate NY from a nation that has their hand in our pocket!

• Be excellent to each other and party on!!