With the passing of another birthday, I reflect on lessons learned in the past year.  I like to record the changes that have happened, things that have gotten better, and how things have gotten worse.  In the writing of these things comes an awakening of spirit and a fascinating account of how time has changed my thinking and views.  Mostly, it is a brutal attack at time and the desperate defense to ward off death.  This drama is me and my growth through experience.  I’m really interested to see what comes next.

I have come to an understanding about the universe.  My science mind has expanded to include philosophy.  I read a translation of the “Tao Te Ching” this past year, and it affected me.  It did not change any science idea I had, instead it added to my understanding of the universe.  To know things is as important as to not know things because that is “The Way” of the universe and to fully understand is to accept that its meaning is far beyond comprehension.  Instead, I try to attain “The Flow” that allows me to touch the underlying energy of all things.  “The Zone” or whatever you want to call it, is an amazing state of being and should be strived for.  Lesson learned!

I live in a “prepanic” world and it has made all the difference.  The term “prepanic” is one I started using in college.  After a disastrous first three semesters in college, I met an individual who gave me a system that allowed me to be successful.  This system worked extremely well, but it had one strange side effect: I somehow thought papers were due a week earlier than they were.  For the week before the “apparent due date” I would work non-stop until the paper was finished.  Time and time again, I would hand in the paper and be told it wasn’t due until next week.  I had panicked for nothing, or maybe not - all my papers got A’s.

This prepanic happened to my family after Super Storm Sandy.   To overcome the damages to our home and to ourselves, we all had a difficult couple of years.  We had to tighten our belts and learn to depend on each other.  When this pandemic hit, my family had the discipline and experience to weather the harsh worldwide situation.  The pain-filled years after Sandy forged our wills and opened our spirits to the everyday happiness that occurs at mealtime or just being together.  As the folk around us cried about Covid-19, we kicked ass, and we plan to keep kicking ass as long as we have to.

My body has always been a cruel teacher.  When I did not treat it with respect, it stopped working well.  Three years ago, my hip was replaced and the first two years were a pain-filled, humbling experience.  Without complaint, I watched my diet and kept my weight down, I did as much yoga as I could, and I got back on the tennis court.  The lessons learned from a lifetime of pain taught me what I needed to do to achieve a high level of fitness.  I wore appropriate gear while exercising. I warmed up completely, and did my best to stretch after workouts.  I kept hydrated and was attentive to what I ate before, during, and after workouts.  The most amazing fact is that I have attained a gratifying level of physical fitness, with only up to go.  Lesson learned!

Each day I spend time just being present where I live.  I have an overwhelming feeling of love and joy. I get a feeling of extreme belonging.  My home is where I raise my treasured sons.  A wonderous place where my gardens fill the yard year after year, and where I grow the most wonderous plants for all to enjoy.  Mostly, I think about the fact we live where my beloved was raised and, now, she can share her home with us.  Shana’s home, a place of love and safety.  Each time I get upset with a broken fixture or a battered door, all from my hands unfortunately, I stop and remember that this is exactly the place I want to be.  The place where everyone I love now lives - that thought fills me with both love and tears.  I know someday, the dream must end. I do my best to experience everything because I believe it will someday be a joyous memory.  This lesson is being worked on, but I’m getting there.

Life is about living!