When my high school gaming group fell apart, it was an upsetting period in my life.  I considered all the guys who played in the game brothers, unfortunately the feeling was not reciprocated. That drama of finding fellow gamers, forming a group, playing weekly, becoming close, and then the break up is one I have repeated too many times to admit.  If wasn’t for my love of playing RPGs, I wouldn’t even consider doing it again.

I always ask, “Did I cause the problem?”  I am a gregarious person, who speaks his mind, but gladly follow a group direction if that’s the choice.  I’m too old to play games about my personality, I am who I am and that’s all that I am.  I try to be a good host, and a gracious guest.  I was taught not to show up empty handed to a social event, that includes a weekly game.  I believe in saying please and thank you, and do my best to use good etiquette.  I’m hygienic, punctual, and show up in clean clothing.

It is my experience that being polite is a thing of the past.  It is common for gamers to show up late.  The idea of showing up empty handed is not something that bothers most gamers, as is showing up in less than clean attire that many times has odors that make sitting at the same table icky!  The idea of showing up ten minutes early to set up so the game can start on time seems old fashioned now, as is the idea of showing up with an updated character sheet.

I know I’m old, I get that.  No kid wants an old man to tell them how to be polite.  Even worse, the soft millennial type hates the jock type, and I was a former tennis pro who considers being in shape a prerequisite for being a grown man.  I dislike the whiny bitch type of gamer, who must complain about everything in their lives, and “Yes, I get that you are lonely and haven’t had sex in a really long time or never.  I just don’t care!  When I was your age, I was going out, meeting women, dating, having sex, and still managed to game.” 

So I killed another group by speaking my mind, but I’m not a fan of the Pathfinder gaming crowd or the system they covet.  So Star Finder was not going to be a game I would want to play, but I was open about why and gave many alternatives of games and systems I would gladly play.  The idea of discourse is another thing you can’t have with most gamers.  They seem to be more comfortable talking behind others backs than a direct conversation.  I’m not an evil man, but I’m no sucker either.  I will not be bullied or shamed into doing something I don’t want. I just won’t, it’s not something my personality allows.

As I look back at my time with the group, I’m proud of the characters I created and the way I played.  I believe that my actions were not the only thing that broke up the group, but I want to learn from the experience and see how I can improve upon it for next time, and there will be a next time - giving up isn’t in my wheelhouse!